You know those days where you just can’t seem to get anything right? The days where you not only woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but you feel like you shouldn’t have even bothered getting out of bed at all? It’s the days when you can’t find your keys, everything is out of place, and not one positive thought crosses your mind all day. That describes my days lately.
Now I’m not one to become easily stressed, but I confess, when I do get overwhelmed, I am the most miserable human being to be around. I find that when I’m burdened by one thing, everything in life seems to become a burden as well. I’ve had a few of those days recently where everything seems overwhelming and I’d do anything to avoid thinking about the future or making any decisions regarding it. That’s what I do, I run from stress. Sometimes, I run straight to the mall.
That brings me to this weekend. Tired and carelessly wandering around the mall, stopping to pick up and look at anything that catches my attention, when I overhear a group of girls in the corner of a store attempting to console their friend.
“what’s wrong”, they asked repeatedly.
The girl responded through tears, “it’s just…well…IM SO STRESSED! Homecoming is THIS week, and I still haven’t found the perfect dress, and this is my first dance with Chad. I NEED to look hot.”
I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. How foolish and childish of her to make such a scene over something so silly and unimportant. How dare she be so selfish? But looking back I see that my reaction to stress is no more glorifying than was this girl’s. Mine just isn’t usually so…public. Nevertheless, I am still guilty of responding to pressure with complete selfishness. Instead of running to God and casting my anxiety on Him as I’m called to, I run in the complete opposite direction, thinking I’m much more capable of handling my problems on my own.
Then I stop. I look around and I see that I live a completely overprivileged life, full of too many blessings to count. And I’m ashamed. Ashamed that I waste precious time worrying and complaining about what I don’t have, as opposed to everything that I do. When I am intentional about counting my blessings, my only response is to ask “why God?” What makes me deserving of such rich blessings in abundance? Absolutely nothing. And that my friends, is grace in a nutshell.
As I ruminate on just how blessed I really am, I am able to easily and willingly give over to God my each and every burden, knowing that He cares for me. And that is where I find myself tonight- before the throne of God, completely given to grace.