Space on my calendar is growing scarce – it’s that time of year again. Life is busy; it’s that way for each of us, and in a season of finals and family, parties and holidays, moments of true rest become something so rare that they come extra sweet and savored.
I’m a girl that can work with busy. In fact, I find a certain calm in the chaos, and I enjoy the constant action and interaction that comes with the territory of everyone being dangerously hurried.
But it’s in the moments when the day culminates in a giant kerplunk onto my sheets just before the clock strikes 2 in the morning that I don’t feel peaceful. There’s something about stillness that often lends itself to the wandering of our minds in which the floodgates of bottled up feelings come spilling over into the time when our brains should be most at rest.
So I lie awake, staring at blank walls, uttering a variation of the same prayer I’ve prayed every night for 6 years. Prayers of pleading, prayers of thanks, prayers of please. Eventually the weight of my eyelids will catch up with my heart, and I drift off to sleep with tear stained pillows beneath my head, feeling hurt, but humbled by grace upon grace.
Though silence can be an unpleasant thing for a burdened heart, it can allow for the voice of God to be heard with great clarity. He’s spoken to me this week. Not by pressing profound thoughts on my heart or showing me areas that need refinement in my life, but by reminding me of a truth so simple, yet far too often forgotten in life’s commotion: He knows.
It’s almost as though He’s stamped this on my heart in such a way that I cannot forget it. It rings in my mind with great repetition throughout the day, and reverberates within my soul in the chaos and the stillness alike.
Your longing for a child. Loneliness. Your struggle with addiction. The burdens you bear for the sake of those you love. He knows the things you wish were different, and He knows when they will change. He knows you’re just flat out tired. He knows your sickness, your pain, your disappointment. The deepest longings of your heart that remain unfulfilled. He knows. The test scores. The hidden depression. Your fear of failure. The heart that stings of loss and resentment.
He knows it all.
To simply place those two small words into perspective can shift the way we face today. Because the author of life, the One who placed breath inside our lungs, knows us in the deepest, most authentic way, and He loves us. For me, the remembrance of this simple truth throughout the day gives me peace and comfort when life is hectic and uncomfortable. Not only does He know my today, but He knows the rest of the my story too, and like any good author, He will see it through to completion. Sometimes, just knowing that He knows is enough to make the offering of the shattered pieces of our broken lives into the hands of He who restores just a little bit less risky, and a little bit more safe.
To rest beneath the shadow of His wings is a peace all its own. He is safe; He is the refuge that covers and defends.
What joy it is to be known by Jesus.